The Waiting Game

Tomorrow is our due date. Which feels pretty significant in some ways, like- I grew a full term baby, like- Josh and I have survived the emotional/hormonal roller coaster that has been this pregnancy and we are still very much in love at the end of the ride, like- we have waited nine long months to meet this little person and whether it happens today or tomorrow or sometime next week, we are finally going to get to meet our baby. We are also trying to be patient and realistic around here and not pin all our hopes that Rowen will make their grand entrance tomorrow, we know that they will come when they are good and ready and there is no amount of want or worry that will make them come any sooner.

I have felt pretty patient and present through this pregnancy, until a couple of days ago. I think it is because we made it to the 39th week, I wrapped up work on Wednesday, and now we are literally just waiting. Yesterday I took Rigby for a long walk around the neighborhood and had a little talk with Rowen. I told them how much we were looking forward to meeting them, how we are so excited to see their little face for the first time, to touch their tiny fingers and toes, how I can’t wait to feel them against my chest and how I cry every time I imagine watching Josh hold our baby for the very first time. And much like my last birthday, just a few weeks before Rowen became a little cluster of cells growing inside of me, when I whispered a prayer to the universe and said, I am ready for you. I am also not ready for you, but mostly I am ready for you to be here whenever you are ready to be here. There is a place for you here and it will be here waiting for you and only you, yesterday I held my belly and whispered aloud to Rowen, We are ready to meet you, we are terrified and excited and probably wholly unprepared for the ways in which our lives will change in the coming months, but we are ready to be your dads as soon as you are ready to be born and be our baby.

This is a strange place to be right now, to be constantly ready for labor to start and to also try and not be overly focused on, when is labor going to start? But we are as ready, the car seat is installed, the nursery is set up, the hospital bags are packed, and Rowen and I are both healthy. Today we are enjoying a slow quiet rainy morning knowing it may be our last one for a long time. I wrapped up things at work last week and I have spent the few days sewing and cleaning, walking and resting, everything is as is in place as it can be and now we are just waiting…

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A few weeks ago, my dear and talented friend, Erin Clark, took these lovely photos for us. And though I am not personally feeling at my most photogenic these days, I am glad we have these photos to someday share with Rowen and to remember this precious time by.
[please do not post/print/use these photos in any way without written consent from me. thank you!]

pregnant 3

pregnant 5

pregnant 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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4 thoughts on “The Waiting Game

  1. I’m so happy for you both!
    My husband is currently pregnant with our first child and it’s so nice to see other pregnant papas. I feel like you are spot on when you said “terrified but so excited to meet them” i am definatly feeling that:)

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